Winter's Horizon
by elsas-frozen-hips
Summary: When Anna corners Elsa at college after being avoided for 3 years, she hopes to regain their old relationship and get Elsa to open up. however she finds out that Elsa needs her help a lot more than she expected... trigger warning: self harm
1. Chapter 1- Frozen Heart, Elsa

"Elsa?"

She was already sat with her back to the door when she heard Anna's voice calling out her name. It had become a habit of hers, waiting for her sister to come and hold a one-sided conversation with the wooden barrier that separated the two girls. she spends every evening like this, curled up with her head resting on her knees, wishing for Anna's ramblings to come floating through the door, reminding her that she hadn't given up on her older sister just yet.

She doesn't deserve Anna, but she's always there, as if she can sense Elsa's need for her.  
Of course she doesn't want to have this need for Anna, she didn't choose to rely on the sound of her sister's voice, but that is the way it is, and it's the reason she never talks back, she can't allow herself to need Anna more than she already does, she can't take that risk. It was harder to avoid Anna in the beginning, when she refused to accept Elsa's isolation, shutting her door in the younger girls face for the first time was almost impossible.

_ One year two weeks ago today,_

she could still hear the heart wrenching cries that came from the normally cheerful girl…

- _"Please! Elsa, open the door!" _

_Elsa clenched her eyes shut at the sound of her sister's voice breaking and held back her own sob, she could not give in. Anna continued to hammer her fists against elsa's door, shouting about how no one wants to be alone. Her sister misunderstood her, Elsa didn't want to be alone, but she had to be alone, she was doing this for Anna._

_ "I know you can hear me Elsa!" _

_a tear rolled down her cheek and she knew she had to do something before her resolve broke, her hands balled into fists and she took a deep breath before calling out with as much anger in her voice as she could muster, "Go away Anna!"  
T__he sharp intake of breath that came from her sister nearly made her take it all back, open the door and just hug her, but she couldn't let all her hard work go to waste. She thanked whatever god must've been watching over her, when her sister finally stood up and walked away._ -

"Elsa, I've had a really bad week"

_ I've had a really bad year._

it was not an exaggeration, she had lost everyone she cared about, The sisters had lost their father in a car accident early last year, and as a consequence, their mum to drug addiction.  
Most of Elsa's friends left when she was forced out of the closet in her first year of upper school, the ones that stayed couldn't handle the bullying.

_and then there's this..._

She stroked her fingers over the white lines that ran across her arm as the thought went through her head. She had lost herself to this damned curse.  
Looking down at the scars that cluttered her skin, her nose wrinkled in distaste, every one of them was a crack in her skin showing how broken she was, a sign of her weakness.  
some of them were punishment, a pain she felt she had to suffer, it made her feel as if she had paid for her wrongdoings.  
But most of the time it was because she wasn't strong enough, and had to give in to this disgusting craving she felt. Of course it made things feel better, for a short while, and then she was left with the guilt, the shame, and the wounds to show it.

She hated it, but she couldn't live without it.

"I could really use my sister"

_No Anna you don't need me, i'll only ruin you, drag you down with me_

She wants to be there for Anna, she really does. All she wants is to hold Anna in her arms and tell her it'll be okay, she longs to be a good sister for once, to have a chance to show Anna she can be the sister the younger girl deserves...  
But she knows this is the best way to help Anna. If she let Anna get close to her, the bullies would get to her to, they would hurt her, she couldn't let them ruin Anna's life the way they ruined hers.

If it weren't for the bullies tormenting her everyday this past year, she wouldn't have these ugly marks covering her arm. If the bullies turned on Anna… She didn't want to think about Anna having her freckled skin flawed by the same marks her sister possesses, yet the idea still festered inside her head.

_That's stupid, Anna would never fall into the trap i have, shes too… happy _

But Elsa thought about it anyway, and as every situation crossed her mind she grew more and more distressed, imagining her sister feeling so tortured that she had to take it out on her own body.  
Then she realised that this is how Anna would feel about Elsa's affliction, and she vowed to never let Anna find out, she couldn't make Anna hurt this much.

She hears a sigh from the other side of the door, then "Goodnight Elsa," followed by a hesitant "I love you."  
As her sisters footsteps quieten Elsa finally allows herself to cry, her body shaking with sobs as she places a hand against the door.

_I love you too Anna_

She sniffs and glances over to the bathroom door, knowing her relief lay behind. Wiping her tears she slowly gets up and walks over to her calendar,

_1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9.._

"10 days clean," she says with a weak smile "new record." and with a shaking hand, she marks a red 'x' on today's date.


	2. Chapter 2- Iris, Anna

She awoke to the sound of her alarm clock blaring, and she slammed a heavy hand down on the infernal device to put an end to its screaming. Kicking the covers back, she began to stretch and rub her eyes. Anna was never a morning person, and it was evident in her heavy eye lids, and the way she couldn't stop a yawn from escaping. Still, she set her alarm to go off at 7 am every morning, even at the weekends.

This was due to her satisfaction at 'living each day to the full', she wanted to make the most of every minute possible, though sometimes that meant just cuddling up and watching her favorite movie. However you look at it, Anna saw sleeping as a waste of valuable time, time she could be spending having fun.

Although, because of this, you could say she was a hypocrite for spending up to an hour outside her sisters door every night, as it was never fun, but then again, she couldn't imagine a way in which talking to a door _could_ be fun.  
despite this, she still sits against that door night after night, clutching onto the small chance that her sister might just reply.

None of that matters anymore, however, she was starting at college in just a few days, the same college her sister was currently attending! of course, Elsa has no idea, she never really talks to any of the family, as she only leaves her room to go to school, so there was no way she'd know. But this only plays to Anna's advantage.

She has a plan. A plan she'd been working on for a couple of weeks, with the help of Kristoff and Rapunzel, her best friend and her cousin. It struck her one night when she was laying awake staring at her ceiling,  
_Elsa has no idea I'll_ _be there! She won't be expecting me at all!_

So she figured out a way to get Elsa's timetable, turns out Kristoff's aunt works in the office, and then she practised her ninja skills, so she would be able to follow Elsa at lunchtime without being caught, but that still needs... some.. improvement..  
She may or may not have knocked over several bins and one Rapunzel in her attempts at being sneaky, which she apologised for several times..

Anyhow, she knew that Elsa had English literature from 10 am till 12 on her first day back, and with all her practice, she knows the college inside out. If the plan goes correctly she will follow Elsa from her English class to the lunch hall and simply sit across from her, or next to her, depending on how likely Elsa is to run away. Rapunzel and Kristoff will be nearby, ready to sit down at their table if Anna needs help, or to catch Elsa if she does escape from her grasp.

Grinning at the thought of her mastermind plan, Anna started to head downstairs for her usual morning bowl of coco pops, If she could she would have chocolate for breakfast, but according to Gerda, their cleaner who took it upon herself to look after the girls when their mum left, its 'not a substantial meal', so Anna was forced to settle for a chocolate cereal instead.

Whilst she ate, she sent a quick text to Rapunzel,  
_A:_ _Shopping? I need new clothes_ _:)_  
A few days ago she was horrified to find out that her wardrobe was devoid of any suitable outfits for her first day of college, which called for a shopping trip A.S.A.P, and of course she needed rapunzel there to tell her if she looked terrible, kristoff was useless in that department. Anna shuddered at the thought of some of the things he allowed her to wear back in her high school days, she's lucky her cousin swooped in and saved her.  
At the thought of the girl, Anna's phone buzzed, and she read the text on the screen,  
_R:_ _ITS HALF 7 IN THE MORNING_  
giggling she replied to her cousin,

_A: the sky's_ _awake!_  
_R: its still dark Anna..._  
_A: shut up, meet me in the town centre in an hour?_  
_R: two_ _hours_  
_A: fine_

Anna sighed, why was everyone so lazy? She could _walk _to town in two hours!  
at that her head tilted in thought, that wasn't such a bad idea...  
_

When she finally made it to the town centre, Anna could see Rapunzel was waiting for her, the blonde girl noticed her and stood up to walk over and complain loudly,  
"You woke me up early to be here, and you're not even on time," she then inhaled and scrunched up her nose "eurgh you stink!"  
Anna shoved the girl away from her, "you'd smell too if you walked all the way here!"  
Rapunzel's eyes widened but then she must've remembered that there is simply no point in being shocked at the younger girls actions. Anna prided herself in being unpredictable, and taught her cousin early in their friendship that it is better to just go with the flow,  
_be a dead fish_  
she smiled to herself at the phrase, Elsa used to always say it instead of 'go with the flow' to make Anna laugh, it succeeded every time in getting the young redhead rolling about on the floor laughing.

The memory melted away when Rapunzel waved her hand in front of the daydreaming girl, she put her hand back on her hip and raised her eyebrow at Anna,  
"you were thinking about Elsa, weren't you?" when she nodded, the older girl fist pumped, "yeah! I can always tell by your Elsa face!"  
Anna's head shot up to look questioningly at the blonde,  
"I have an.. Elsa face?"  
At that her cousin nodded vigorously and launched into a description of said expression,  
"it's a distant look, as if you're staring at an object far, far away, but you also have a sad smile, and your eyes look like a puppy who's just been kicked, it's a heart breaking face I'll tell you that!" She dramatically placed her hand over her heart, "It breaks one's soul to see such a pretty face masked by the darkest of sorrow!" she nudged Anna, trying to get the usually energetic redhead to crack a smile.

But Anna couldn't put on her usual wide grin whilst memories of her older sister plagued her mind, she saw her cousin huff out of the corner of her eye, "Anna you can't be like this whenever you think of Elsa, you'll be getting to see her again soon anyway, so cheer up"  
Anna stared down at her feet, "but what if it goes wrong?" she muttered quietly, "there are so many ways it could go wrong..."  
The blonde then grabbed her by the shoulders and turned Anna to face her, " Elsa. Loves. You. I know she locks herself away, but that girl loves you more than anything, I have no idea why she does what she does, but I can tell you this: She will welcome you back in a heartbeat." When Anna shook her head she looked into her eyes and reiterated "she _loves_ you."  
The corners of the redhead's mouth finally tuned up once again and she hugged her cousin tightly, "thank you punzie, now lets get some shopping done!" she then proceeded to drag the blonde to the nearest clothes shop quite aggressively.

Anna trudged through the front door with 4 bags in each hand just in time to have supper, before dumping all her new clothes in her room.  
She then got ready for an early night, as shopping tired her out, despite it being one of her favorite things to do, and planned out what she would wear for her first day of college. It was days away but she desperately wanted to be prepared for what could be a hugely important day, an end to her sisters isolation.

Thinking of her older sister reminded her that she still needs to go speak to Elsa before she goes to sleep, after all this could be the night she finally replies, and then Anna wouldn't even need the plan (though she was eager to see if it would work, she'd put a lot of work into it's development). So she eagerly skipped to the girl's bedroom door only to be stopped dead in her tracks when she saw it.

The white door leading to Elsa's room loomed over her, daring her to knock, daring her to be rejected once again, her fist was raised to the center of the door, ready to knock, but she hesitated as doubt flashed through her mind.  
_Of course she won't reply, there's no special reason to, today's just like any other day_  
So she opted to trace the light blue patterns that adorned the white surface instead, they were tiny snowflakes, each one hand painted by Elsa, and they were beautiful  
She remembers saying the same thing when the girl first showed Anna her work on the door, but Elsa simply said they weren't as pretty as Anna, which the redhead protested to, of course, though that only led to the older girl refusing to speak until Anna admitted she was right.

The recollection restored Anna's faith in Elsa, and she knocked firmly on the door,  
"Elsa, I know you don't want to speak to me, but I just want you to know that I'm not giving up on you, and I never will, I'll knock on this door every night for the rest of my life if it means that you'll answer just once.." at the silence that followed her statement, she rested her forehead against the door, leaning her face in to lightly kiss a painted snowflake "I love you so, so much Elsa."

**A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for reading this ^.^ sorry about the slow update, I've had exams on and I have only just finished this at 3am on my first night without revision haha, I tried my best!**  
**So I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll try to get the next one out as soon as possible! **  
**I'm also going to upload an elsanna one-shot I did a while ago if any of you wants to read that,**  
**and finally, if any of you have tumblr, you can follow me if you want to, I'm love-is-an-open-gate! (shameless self-advertising I know) Thanks again! :D**


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